Say You Won't Let Go_A Return to Me/Masters and Mercenaries Novella Read online

  Vince exits, closing the door behind him, and I turn back to Cooper, who looks as if he’s trying to control his laughter. “What?”

  “Just…” He chuckles.

  “Just?”

  “Same shit, different girl.”

  At first, I’m offended. What the hell does that mean? And then it hits me, his kiss with Grace. Well, she and I may have grown up together, and she may be one of my best friends, but we are very different, and I intend to prove it.

  I push forward, grip his face in my hands, and press my lips to his.

  Within an instant, Cooper’s hands are around my waist. He tugs me against him and kisses me roughly. I meld my lips to his and kiss him back with so much passion that I could explode. Our tongues touch, sliding against each other’s as I find myself on my back, Cooper over me as my hands roam his taut body.

  Jesus. I don’t think there’s ever been a first kiss that has felt like this.

  He pulls back, his eyes searching mine as a smile forms on his delicious lips.

  “So?” I ask. “Same shit?”

  Cooper’s mouth brushes against mine, and he kisses me again. “Not even in the same ballpark.”

  Chapter Two

  Three loud bangs on the door cause my eyes to fly open. “Emily! Let’s go! We’re on in thirty minutes,” Vince yells in the trailer.

  Shit.

  I fell asleep.

  “Okay! I’m comin’!”

  I hop out of bed and start trying to get my face on. I don’t love stage makeup, but after seeing photos of the second show without it, I vowed to never look that way again. However, I don’t have an hour to really cake it on, so I do the best I can.

  Cooper and I ended up hanging out until five in the morning. We spent most of the night just talking, but other parts were spent kissing. I didn’t know what I was thinking, but I couldn’t keep my hands off him. I tried to nap during the day, but my stomach was in knots thinking about him coming back to the show tonight. I’m on the verge of excitement and complete terror.

  “Emily!” Ginny calls. “I’m coming in!”

  Ginny is great. She’s a force of nature and a little scary, but she’s my biggest advocate. She was in Nashville, visiting one of the actors who was filming there, and happened to hear me sing. After the show, she and I spent two hours talking, and I signed with her a few days later. She represents a few big country music names and has her hands in a lot of the entertainment industry. I like knowing I can explore other options if this doesn’t work out.

  “Hey, Ginny,” I reply as I deepen my eyeliner.

  “You don’t have time for a man,” she states without so much as a hello.

  “Nice to see you, too.” I toss the eyeliner down and dab on concealer.

  “I’m serious. There’s no time for some random guy.”

  And to think I was actually starting to like her. I glance over at her and weigh my words. “I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about.”

  “It’s my job to know everything, Emily. I know all about Cooper Townsend and who he is. You’re on the verge of becomin’ the next Luke. You have to keep your eye on the prize, and boys like that aren’t going to keep your focus on the music.”

  She’s nuts if she thinks I’m not focused. She’s even more crazy if she thinks that my making out with Cooper one time will end up being more than just that—one time. More than anything, she’s lost her ever-loving mind if she believes for one moment that she’s going to dictate how I live my life.

  “I’m going to pretend that you’re drunk,” I reply and go back to my makeup.

  She means well… I think. And I need to perform in a few. That’s what I need to worry about, not her crazy talk.

  I feel her bristle and hear her long sigh. “I’m serious. I’ve seen this a hundred times. Small-town girl gets her big break, only to have a man pull her back home. Telling her that she belongs where she came from. You don’t. You belong out there”—She turns and points toward the arena—“on that stage and in the spotlight. I’m telling you, sweetheart, you can’t get swept up in some hometown love. He’s going to drag you down and crush your dreams.”

  Anger builds inside me as she says her last words. He isn’t like that. Even if we hadn’t been friends for over twenty years, after hearing him talk last night, I know that isn’t what he would ever do. Cooper spent his life giving up things for people. He isn’t going to ask me to do that. And we aren’t even anything. We’re friends…who happen to like sucking face.

  After the initial anger ebbs, it’s really almost funny. She knows nothing, and if she’s trying to get a rise out of me, she needs to think again. The sound of laughter falls from my lips. “I’m not in love with him. He’s a friend, and you have no right to tell me that I can’t talk to anyone. I know where I belong.”

  “I’m protecting you.”

  “No.” I shake my head. “You’re protecting your investment. I get it, Gin. I really do. However, I’m a big girl.” I glide the red lipstick across my lips and pucker. “And I’ll do what I want with whomever I want. Cooper is comin’ to the show tonight. He needs to be added to my VIP list and given backstage access.” I touch her arm and grab my guitar that sits beside her. “I appreciate it.”

  I’m not some doe-eyed girl staring at the bright lights anymore. I’ve spent years doing the grind and somehow making it work. It’s never easy, but nothing worth a damn is.

  Vince releases a huge sigh as I come to side stage. Everything is all set up for our small opening act. One day I’ll get the big lights with crazy props, but for now, we have a few special effects and me center stage.

  “Ready?” the production manager asks.

  I nod and head out with my hand raised.

  This is the moment that I live for. I get in front of the microphone. “How y’all doin’, Texas? I can’t hear you!” I taunt them a little. The crowd yells, and I smile. “Better, better. Are y’all ready for a good time?” They scream. “I’m Emily Young, and I hope you came to party with us!”

  I glance back at Vince, who taps us off.

  I start singing our opening number, which is catchy and lighthearted. I like to change our set list every couple of shows and see which the crowd likes more. It seems this one always gets people on their feet. This is also the list that got me bumped to the better position in the lineup. Luke has two bands that open for him. Originally, I was the first, but he found another small band, and I got moved to the coveted second slot. Dreaming about singing for a living usually ends when you wake up not dreaming bigger.

  We move through a few more songs, and tonight is one of the best shows I’ve had so far. Some sing along here and there, but the crowd is alive. They’re dancing in their seats or waving their hands, and there’s just something driving me to entertain more than normal.

  My heart skips a little when I see Cooper front and center. Ginny actually listened. How the hell did she work that fast? I smile and wink as I keep singing, scanning the crowd and doing my best not to look at him again. However, my eyes keep finding their way back to him.

  As the show wears down, it’s time for my big moment. My favorite part of the show—when I can sing “Don’t Call Me Darlin’.” It’s a deep, soulful song that talks about a woman trying to love a man who doesn’t love her back. It’s very much based on my best friend Grace. There’s something about this song that just calls to me. Knowing you can be hurt at the same time as you’re saved. It’s full of hope and pain.

  The lights go deep blue, and everything is dark. I told Vince and the rest of the band I wanted to sing this one tonight acoustic.

  I strum the chords and close my eyes.

  “Don’t tell me it’s too late,” I croon.

  “I won’t give up that easy.

  Don’t call me darlin’ and tell me that you’re leavin’.

  Don’t walk away.

  Stop pushing me when you know you want to hold on.

  It could be so easy for us, baby.
r />   I’ve been here, but you don’t see me.

  Don’t let go if you’re not ready for me to walk away.”

  I sing the lyrics from deep inside me, trying to convey the true pain in Grace’s heart at the time. I’ve always believed the best songs are what you know. I may not know pain like that, but when my eyes find a pair of green eyes I spent hours staring into last night, I feel exposed. Suddenly, the song about heartbreak and pain morphs into another meaning.

  “Don’t let go if you’re not ready for me to walk away.”

  Cooper looks at me, and I sing to him. It’s as if no one else is here.

  Not the ten thousand other people staring up at me.

  No one else exists but us.

  This time, the lyrics are about a woman who wants something she probably can’t have. It’s about a life that might never exist for her, but she wants him even if she shouldn’t.

  I finish the song, letting the final chord fade as the crowd erupts. My eyes finally move from his, and I do my best to recover. I feel shaken and raw. There is a vulnerability that I’ve never experienced until just now.

  I smile, wave, and give a small bow. “Thank y’all so much!” I move around the stage, grabbing hands with fans. I thank everyone again and raise my hand as I stride off stage.

  “Holy shit, Emily!” Vince wraps his arms around me and spins me around. “You were amazing tonight! I’ve never seen you like that.”

  “That was nuts! I don’t know what came over me.” I laugh as he puts me down.

  I’m lying. I know exactly what came over me. It was Cooper.

  “Well, whatever it was, do that at every show. I think you should sing that song acoustic from now on. I can’t believe how fucking intense that was.”

  Ginny eyes me, and I’m pretty sure she has a guess about what the difference was. She studies me and releases a heavy sigh. “It was a great show, and there were two record producers in the front row. Good night to perform at the top of your game. I’ll be sure your friend makes it through security.” Ginny turns, takes two steps, and then pivots back. “Wait. Before I forget. This was left for you last night. Probably fan mail that somehow made it backstage. Anyway, it has your name on it.” I smile my thanks, tucking the envelope into my guitar case.

  I’m on the tour bus, trying to get my stomach to stop flip-flopping. Am I being stupid? After what I felt during that song, I can’t see him. Maybe Ginny was right when she said that I’ll end up some small-town girl after all. If Cooper is the man who will hold me back, I can’t go there. I won’t allow myself to end up like my mama. My heart is racing so fast I’m sure it’s going to fly out of my chest. When the hell did that song become anything about me? Ugh. I’m not answering the door when he comes.

  Nope.

  I’ll just ignore it, shut the lights off, and hide.

  Trying to calm my nerves, I pace. My eyes catch on the letter that Ginny gave me, which is still tucked inside my guitar case, and I pull it out. It’s surreal getting notes from people gushing over me. I’ve only really been touring for a few months. I don’t know how to take it. It’s an amazing feeling. I tear the flap open and pull out the single sheet of paper before unfolding it. Then, I gasp, dropping the letter to the ground.

  What on earth?

  I pick it back up with a trembling hand. A collage of pictures of me from various shows and online blogs are arranged haphazardly. As if that wasn’t creepy enough, the words, “You’re my darlin’” are emblazoned in the middle. There are several pictures of Luke and me, and Luke’s eyes have been scratched out. The whole thing is disturbing to say the least. This would be a first for me.

  I’m staring at this crazy collage, wondering what in the world is wrong with people. Who would send this to me? Why? I’m a nobody, and really it’s crazy that people have time to do this. This person needs a hobby, that’s for damn sure. I look closer, trying to figure out what concert it was taken at when a knock on the trailer causes me to jump.

  “Em?” Cooper’s deep voice filters through the room. “You here?”

  I toss the crazy person letter under my lyrics book and chew on my thumbnail.

  “Emmy? I see the lights on.”

  Damn it.

  My mind goes back to the concert and how fast he made my heart race. How him just being there made the song come to life inside me. Maybe this is a mistake, but I worry the bigger one is running away from him.

  I stand and move to the door.

  “I’m here,” I say with the metal shielding me from his eyes.

  Instead of making me want to cower, the sound of his voice causes me to react completely different and irrational. I open the door and rush toward him, wrap my arms around his neck, and press my lips to his. I kiss him like I need it. And I do. I want nothing more than to feel him because it feels like the right thing—the only thing—I should do. I feel safe in Cooper’s arms.

  His hands grip my legs, and he hoists me into his arms while I kiss him deeply. My tongue slides against his, and I moan in his mouth.

  Cooper walks with me wrapped around him. He holds me to his body, and I feel all the emotion pouring out of him. The moment we shared while I was on stage was just as intense for him as well. He moves to the back bedroom and lays me on the bed. His fingers lace in my hair and he takes control, moving his mouth against mine as he drinks me in, slowing the kiss until his lips are a feather-light brush against mine.

  “Hi.” He breathes the word.

  “Hi.” My cheeks burn as I realize I assaulted him without even saying a word. “Coop, I don’t know what that was—”

  He presses his finger to my lips. “Don’t say anything.”

  “But,” I mumble, and he shakes his head.

  I want to tell him about the letter and how scared I am, but at the same time, I don’t want some bizarre fan mail, which is probably nothing, to ruin our night together. Cooper is protective. If he knew that I got a letter like that, he’d probably force me to report it. Tonight, I just want him without the crazy that my life is turning into.

  “You leave for Houston tomorrow, and I’m going back to Bell Buckle a few days after that. It doesn’t have to be any more complicated than that.”

  I wish that were true. Cooper isn’t some guy I found on tour—he’s a friend. We grew up together, and our lives are very intertwined. It’s clear we both are feeling this, and I don’t want this to be the end. I want passionate nights and days spent getting to know each other more. I want whoever sent me the letter to never contact me again.

  I’m a damn fool.

  Wanting more with Cooper isn’t possible. I’m on tour for another month, and then who knows what after that? As for the letter, I can’t control crazy fans. I can only hope it is a one-time thing.

  Cooper’s eyes hold mine. “I’m not askin’ for anything, Em. I’m just sayin’ we should enjoy tonight. Okay?”

  I nod, and he removes his hand. “My tour is over soon.” I touch his jaw.

  “And you know where I’ll be.”

  “You think I should come find you?” I say with a teasing tone.

  “I really hope you do.”

  “We’ll see.” I shrug, and he laughs so hard it shakes the bed.

  Cooper rolls to his side, pulling me with him so we are face to face. “You know that there are girls lining up for a chance with me.”

  I raise a brow and snort. “In Bell Buckle?”

  “And the area surrounding.”

  I smother my laughter and roll my eyes. If I wasn’t from the area, he might’ve sold me, but there’s no line of girls anywhere in Bedford County, Tennessee. On the other hand, if I lived there, I’d be first in the Cooper line.

  He’s definitely the most eligible bachelor in a town of a hundred people.

  I grin as I touch his face. “Well, lucky for me that you aren’t home to get all the attention of those women. I mean, I feel like I should thank my lucky stars.”

  “Oh, you should.”

  “W
hatever will I do when you leave?” I ask playfully. “How will I get through the nights, wonderin’ if some girl has stolen your heart?”

  I’m partially joking, but there’s an element of truth to that. Not because he’s mine or I have any claim, but I wonder if he has someone in line back home. I wouldn’t blame him.

  Cooper brushes my hair back off my cheek. “Jealous?”

  I shake my head and scoff. “No.”

  “Really?”

  “Not even a little. I’ve seen your pickins… I’m not worried.”

  He grins. “Oh, so you’re sayin’ you’re my best option?”

  I sit up quickly and shift to my knees. “Who said I was an option?”

  Cooper follows the motion and shifts forward. His nose rubs the side of mine, and I shiver. “Are you?”

  “What if I am?”

  He leans back, giving me an open look into his heart. “Then you’d get a pass to the front of the line.”

  “I’ll let you know tomorrow if I want that pass or not.”

  Cooper grins and sits back. “Challenge accepted.”

  Chapter Three

  “Good morning,” Cooper’s deep voice grumbles against my neck.

  “Hi there, cowboy,” I reply, nestling into his body a little deeper. “Sleep good?”

  I did. We passed out at some point during the night—fully dressed. I’ve never had so much fun doing nothing before. All we did was talk about everything and anything, and of course, I kissed him—a lot. How could I not? Kissing Cooper feels like coming home. It was full of anticipation, joy, and a feeling of safety that I could just fall if I had to. Cooper was there to catch me all night.

  His nose rubs up and down the back of my neck. “I did,” he replies.

  His arm snakes around me, tightening and holding me secure. I try to remember that I need to keep myself in check. Yes, this is Cooper Townsend, but at the same time, we live worlds apart. It isn’t smart to get caught up in something that won’t ever be anything more than just this.

  Feelings lead to heartbreak. Heartbreak isn’t something I can afford right now.