Conviction (Consolation Duet #2) Read online

  I hear the undertone to his question. He wants to know if Liam is going to be here.

  “A few of our friends, and you know my parents are here. Is your mom coming back down?”

  Aaron shrugs and winces. I hate that he has some residual pain, but his right arm took the worst from the IED. The scars are more prominent. He explained the weather has a lot to do with his pain as well.

  “She said she couldn’t stay this long. I’m going to visit her in a few weeks.”

  “Okay, what about Brittany?”

  He huffs then looks away. “I haven’t seen her since I’ve been here.”

  “I’m only asking.” I try for nonchalant, but I’m sure I fail. There’s a part of me that wishes he would choose her so that I didn’t have to be the bad guy here. Yes, he cheated, but according to him it meant nothing. He says he wants a life with us, and even if I want to dismiss him, there’s a part of my life that belongs to him. “I’m sorry. That was out of line. I’m just nervous about the party.”

  Aaron steps forward and brushes the hair off my face. “Can we ever get back to us?” His voice trembles with hope.

  I look at him and let out a breath. “I don’t think so. I can’t explain what learning about your relationship was like, but it opened the door to seeing what our marriage truly was, and I can’t forget that. And I may not have been with Liam for very long, but I don’t know that I could go back. I know that hurts you, and I hate it. I don’t hate you, Aaron. I’ll always love you in some way.”

  “I’m not giving up. I won’t let you walk away so easily,” he warns as he heads toward the other room.

  He knows me better than anyone. Aaron can twist my heart so that it’s unrecognizable, and it scares me, but it wouldn’t be out of love. Loving someone is being unselfish and sometimes relinquishing your own wants for that person. It’s being noble in the face of knowing it would obliterate your world—like walking away. Like the man I love is doing now because he loves me.

  I head down the stairs, and my mother and father rush over.

  “Hi, sweet pea!” she yells and holds her arms out. She beelines straight for Aara and ignores me.

  “Hello, Mother,” I chide, laughing.

  “Hi, baby girl,” my dad says and pulls me into his arms. “You look like you’re going on a date.” He appraises me in a fatherly way.

  “Nope.” I decide not to elaborate. My dad was always very protective. Hell, Aaron wasn’t even allowed in the house until I was eighteen. My father was the one sitting around talking about a black belt he never had and cleaned guns that I swear he only bought once I turned fifteen. He’s all bark and no bite.

  “Wouldn’t you be more comfortable in jeans?” he asks and I laugh.

  “Give it up . . . how’s the hotel?”

  “Fine. Your mother wanted to stay another night sightseeing in Williamsburg. I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. That woman can spend money like no one else.” He shakes his head and my mother slaps him in the chest.

  “Where’s Aaron?” she asks.

  “He was upstairs last I saw.”

  She looks at my father and sighs. It’s got to be killing her to keep her mouth shut. There’s no way she doesn’t have an opinion on what I should be doing.

  “Well, I think for Aarabelle’s sake, you should be trying to find a resolution.”

  “Mom—” I cut her off.

  I didn’t want to tarnish Aaron’s memory for my family or his, so I kept his infidelity a secret. To them, Aaron is still husband of the year. But now that he’s back, I’m glad I chose to keep it hushed. It’s between us regardless, and our mistakes don’t need to be broadcasted.

  “No. I’m saying that he’s your husband and her father.” She raises her hand as if it’s just her friendly advice.

  I reach out for Aarabelle and decide I’ve had enough pleasantries. “We’re going to make our rounds.” I smile and walk toward Reanell, who’s laughing at my discomfort. Some help she is.

  The party is in full swing, and I can’t help but look over at the door for him. How can he not show up for her birthday? He’s been a father to Aarabelle since she was a baby. He was the man in the hospital with her. Liam cared for her when I was sick and held her in his arms. For him to not be here breaks me in two.

  “Hey, there’s my goddaughter!” Jackson calls out and Aarabelle smiles. He pulls me and Aara into a hug. “You both look stunning.”

  “I think she’s a little young for you, babe.” Catherine chuckles from beside him. He rolls his eyes as he takes Aarabelle into his arms. “Hey!”

  “Catherine, you look amazing!” I say and we hug each other. “California agrees with you.” She’s cut her hair to her shoulders and it’s pin straight. She looks so much more a classic beauty now. Her skin is bronze and she has this natural aura around her.

  “Please, you would never know you had a baby. You look insane, and that dress . . .” We both smile knowingly. “Anyway, I’m glad we could be here. Muffin told me all about everything, and if you need anything please call me. Is he here?”

  “I’m going to take this one and make the rounds. Women love a man with a kid,” Jackson says and heads into the kitchen with Aara.

  “Such an idiot,” Catherine scoffs. “So . . . is he?”

  “Which one?” I ask.

  “Either, I guess.”

  “Aaron’s here somewhere. Probably with Mark.”

  She nods and we walk over toward a quieter corner. Jackson has Aarabelle and is probably feeding her God knows what, but right now, I don’t care.

  “I’m sure he’ll be here.” She pats my arm.

  I wish I could be sure. I’ve fought the urge to text him all day, but I need to keep my strength. He needs to come to me, because I keep running to him but he’s shut me out. I miss him.

  A few more guests arrive, and my hope dwindles. Reanell and Catherine keep me busy and try to stop me from spinning into a downward spiral. This isn’t the Liam I know. There would be nothing he wouldn’t do for us.

  “I’ll be right back,” I say to Reanell and she nods.

  As I head into the hallway, I run into someone. “I’m so sor—” The words die on my tongue as I look up and see him. My heart rate accelerates as he holds my arms.

  “Hi,” he says, still not releasing me.

  I focus on breathing and try to ignore that he’s touching me. I want to kiss him so bad it hurts. “I wasn’t sure you were going to make it.”

  “I had to help a friend first. I wouldn’t miss her birthday.” His warm, rich voice washes over me and I shiver. “Cold?” he asks, not missing anything.

  Liam releases me, and his eyes travel my body. He gazes over my skin then to my dress. His breath catches as he makes his way back up to my lips. Deciding to make this a little more difficult for him, I slowly lick my lips. He watches my tongue and presses his body against mine.

  I’m flush against the wall, and his warmth is blanketing me. “Are you trying to fucking destroy me?” His voice is low against my ear. “Do you want me to lose my mind, sweetheart?”

  I whimper softly at the term of endearment he uses. “No.”

  “Really? Because that’s exactly what you’re doing.”

  I straighten and stare at him. “You’re doing that on your own.”

  “You’re making me hate the one person who I shouldn’t. You have no idea how torn up I am. How I fight the urge to come here at night and rip you out of his house. How I had to smash my phone to stop from calling you. I’m begging you . . . go change.” Liam’s plea is full of bitterness, and as much as it makes me want to ease his pain—I won’t.

  I push against him and he backs up. “I’ve got guests waiting. You could’ve been here.” I step toward him and he retreats. “You could’ve been in my house every night, but you need space. With space comes this.” I turn on my heel and head toward the party, hoping he’s watching my ass the entire time.

  Liam stands to the side of the party by Quinn and
Ashton. They talk, but his eyes never waver from me. I can sense the way he watches me and almost feel his hostility when Aaron is around us.

  Aaron does his best to give me space, but I try to include him. He’s different though. It’s almost like he’s not really here with us. Everything feels forced and uncomfortable. While he may not have always been overly social, he would’ve been at least engaging in conversations, but now he only responds to questions he’s directly asked.

  I can’t help but be concerned that this is all too much for him. “Do you need a break?” I ask him quietly.

  “I need to lie down,” he admits.

  “Go ahead upstairs. We won’t do cake until you come back.” I place my hand on his arm, but he flinches.

  Immediately he tries to soothe me. “Sorry, I just . . .”

  “You don’t have to explain.”

  Aaron turns, but then looks back. “I’m sorry, Lee. For everything.”

  “I’m sorry too.” And I am. I’m sorry our lives have come to this. I’m sorry that we can’t go back in time to a place where there was no affair, no other people, just us. Maybe if I hadn’t been desperate for a family, things would’ve been different, but the bottom line is, sometimes sorry can’t fix the hurt. Sometimes the pain is so deep that no words can heal the damage, and knowing the man you spent months grieving slept with another woman . . . is one of those hurts.

  Jackson walks over looking nervous. He keeps wringing his hands and wiping them on his pants. I can’t remember a time I’ve seen him looking frayed. “Hi,” he says glancing around.

  “Hi?” I reply skeptically as I smile a little.

  “So, I’m going to propose to Catherine. I wanted to do it after the party, but I have something set up on the beach for ten minutes from now. I wasn’t sure how long these kid party things last . . .”

  My eyes alight and I’m so happy for him I could scream. “So go. Don’t be stupid. Where are you taking her?”

  “The lighthouse,” he smiles and checks to make sure no one is near us. “I would love for everyone to come in about a half hour, but I don’t know now since I apparently have shitty timing.”

  The joy in my heart is overwhelming. He deserves this so much. After he lost Madelyn, none of us were sure he’d recover, but when you see him with Catherine, you can’t help but be happy. They’ve been through a lot of troubles, but in the end they endured. There’s nothing more I’d like than to be a part of their special moment.

  “I’ll have my parents watch Aarabelle and round everyone up.” I place my hand on his forearm. “I’m genuinely happy for you.”

  He smiles down at me. “Thanks, Lee.” Jackson kisses my cheek and then nudges my arm. “I’m gonna grab Cat and head there.”

  I nod and watch him walk off. My eyes drift to Liam who’s looking at me. Our gazes stay connected, and I suddenly wish we were that happy. He’s the man I want to come home to, wake up next to, and fall asleep with, but for some reason he’s trying to be noble.

  Jackson and Catherine walk off to the beach while I head over to our friends. Mark, Ashton, Quinn, and Liam all look over as I approach. “Did Jackson fill you all in?” I ask, and they nod. Liam looks away for the first time, and my anger builds at his dismissal. “Okay, I’m going to change my shoes.”

  “Are you sure you want to walk on the beach in that dress?” Liam asks seemingly annoyed.

  I smile at the fact that my plan is working. “Yup. I’m very comfortable.”

  “Glad someone is,” he mutters under his breath.

  Mark and Quinn give each other a look and slap each other on the chest. Apparently, they notice his crappy attitude.

  I climb the stairs and check on Aaron. He’s sound asleep and for once not thrashing around. I decide not to wake him and grab my shoes. Liam is waiting at the bottom of the stairs. I stop on the bottom step and have to restrain myself from either leaping into his arms or slapping him again.

  “You can’t be mad at me because you don’t like your decision.”

  Liam steps closer and we’re eye to eye. “I don’t like the situation. This is fucking impossible.”

  “What is?”

  “Not touching you,” his hand lifts and he holds my cheek. “Not talking to you,” he keeps me captivated with his voice. “Not kissing you,” Liam leans in and our lips are almost touching. “Is it killing you, Lee?”

  I don’t answer. I hold my ground for a second before I can’t hold back any longer. My lips press against his and I melt. His arms drop, he grips my hips, holding me tight as my arms wrap around his neck. I won’t let go . . . I can’t let go. I need him to fill my lungs and awaken me again. There’s a house full of people, but right now there’s no one else but us. His lips mold to mine and our tongues meet. Liam pushes me back against the wall, hiding us from anyone’s view. He kisses me languidly, and I find myself in his touch.

  Someone clears their throat, and we break apart. I look over at Reanell who has her hands on her hips. “At least find a spare room.” She shakes her head and walks away.

  “We should go,” I say, feeling conflicted. He tilts back against the railing, wipes his mouth, which smears the lipstick even worse. “You have lipstick on your face,” I say moving closer. I wipe his mouth, relishing the way his lip feels against my finger. The smell of his cologne filters around us.

  He grips my wrist before it drops, “I won’t lose you.”

  “You’re damn right you won’t.”

  Liam releases my arm, takes my hand in his, as we head toward the lighthouse. Everyone is ahead of us, and I savor the fact that we’re alone. Neither of us fills the silence, we just walk hand in hand. Liam’s thumb rubs the back of my hand, giving me comfort in his touch. Once we’re out of view of my home, he drags me close, and wraps his arm around my waist. He pulls me tight against him, and dips me back. I watch his blue eyes shimmer as his mouth slowly moves toward mine.

  Our lips touch and there’s no rush. He kisses me like I’m a treasure in his arms. He cradles my head as he holds his mouth to mine. I could stay like this forever.

  Liam pulls me back but keeps his arms wrapped around me. “I’m sorry.”

  “For kissing me?”

  We start to walk again and I wait for my answer. “No, sweetheart. For how this is for all of us. I hate that you’re hurting and that I’m hurting you. The deployment got pushed up.”

  I stop moving. “You’re leaving sooner?” I thought we had another week or two. Time to mend a little, or at least find a better resolution than him stepping aside so my husband can have a go at this.

  “Yeah, I got the call earlier today. We leave in three days.” Liam’s voice is resolute. You can tell he’s going into what we call deployment mode. They close off the world around them and start to focus on the mission.

  The lighthouse is within view, and I still can’t respond. My mind is going a mile a minute with how to handle this. Liam stops me before we reach everyone else. “I want to see you before I go.”

  I nod with tears in my eyes. “I’m going to miss you.”

  Liam gives a sad smile, but before he can respond, Quinn whistles us over.

  We head toward our friends right as Jackson and Catherine exit the lighthouse. Catherine is smiling, and then she sees us and her face falls in confusion.

  She looks back to Jackson as he drops to his knee. I watch with tear-filled eyes as she clutches her chest.

  “Catherine Pope, you’ve given me more love in the last two years than I’ve ever known. You taught me how to love again, how to be a better man, and how to forgive myself. I want to spend every day of my life making you happy. I will cherish you, protect you, annoy you.” She laughs as tears fall down her cheek. “I’ll give you everything you could ever want. Will you marry me?” Jackson’s voice is full of promise, and we all stand with smiles and love for them.

  He’s gone through a lot of hell to get here, and I have faith I’ll survive just like he has.

  Catherine falls t
o her knees and grips his face. “I will marry you today if you want.”

  He holds her close and kisses her passionately. Jackson leans back and places the diamond on her finger and wipes her tears. “Tomorrow we leave for Hawaii.”

  She laughs and he pulls her close. “Always so damn sure of yourself.”

  “You can’t resist me, baby.” Jackson smirks and kisses her again.

  We all join in their joy and hug the happy couple. Ashton squeals over the ring and the guys joke with him about losing his touch. I stand off to the side sharing stolen glances with Liam.

  Fear that he won’t make it home consumes me, but more than ever, I’m terrified we won’t make it back to each other. There’s so much at stake for both of us, and six months is a long time. Part of me understands his need for a break, but I worry it will be too much.

  Liam walks over after the group disperses. “Do you want to walk with me?”

  “Sure,” I reply.

  “I don’t know how this works, Lee. If Aaron weren’t here, I would be with you on my last night. I would make love to you and—”

  “Don’t,” I lift my hand to stop him. “Don’t tell me how you would be doing things if he wasn’t alive. Because you could be doing them now, but you don’t believe me. I chose you. I came to you and told you.”

  “And he’s living in the house. What do you want—family dinners? I’m doing the right thing by staying away. I’m giving you both a chance to figure out what the fuck you want.”

  “He’s moving out soon, but I can’t just throw him out. He’s Aarabelle’s father. Jesus, he’s been tortured and God only knows what. It’s our home,” I try to explain to him. This isn’t easy on me or him, but Aaron has it the worst. Sure, he screwed up and there’s no going back, and at the same time I can’t be cruel. I know Liam isn’t asking for that, but I’m at a loss here.

  “Your home with him. Do you get it now? It’s not our home. It’s the home you made with him. Where you share a child. Where I would come crash for the night on the couch when I would visit while you two did whatever upstairs. I’m always the outsider.”